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Friday, July 2, 2010

Don't call her name, Alejandro

I don't know who you are, Alejandro, but if you're reading this, don't call her name.

So I thought Lady Gaga's Telephone music video was bizarre, but I didn't even know what was coming. I mean it is a song about a telephone, but the video is about her getting bailed out from prison and then going out on a killing rampage. I mean that video had everything from mind reading to cooking lesson; she gave you all but the kitchen sink- and she even gave us that on her tutorial of how to make a sandwich.

And now there is her Alejandro video. Damn. That was something, alright. Word of advice: you might not want to watch this at night by yourself unless you are the kind of self-distructive person who enjoys having nightmares. It was scary. I mean seriously, man, you do not wanna call this chick. This video was about this guy who died, so I'm thinking it was a warning, maybe. Like "this what gonna happen if you call my name, Alejandro."

You wanna know what I think? I think Alejandro is the same guy she and BeyoncĂ© where telling to stop calling them in Telephone. Alejandro, she does not wanna talk anymore, you heard me? She's got her head and her heart on the dance floor, so just quit trying to talk to her. It's no use trying to call her name, either, and tell you what, I think you just crossed the line, cause in that video, she did not hint settling this over with a peace agreement; there was a coffin, dude. Oh, I see whats going on... You think that she wants your love and all your lovers revenge, and that you and her could write a bad romance! No, dude, she wasn't rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ing to you, cause if she wanted your romance so much, she wouldn't be telling you to shut up. I hate to break it to you, but she doesn't want to play a love game with you either; you just forget about her riding your disco stick now. She might have wanted to, but clearly you've screwed up, because thats two songs now in which she has been trying to tell you to shut up.

And Katy Perry, why did you even waltz in into this whole dillema, anyway? You were saying (well, tweeting really,) "Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling fart jokes." Girl, this was between her and Alejandro; you did not have to butt in. I feel sorry for you because you know what this girl is capable of. Besides, you're not the one to talk. Using a bizarre made up candy world for a video is as cheap as an artist using blasphemy as entertainment.

So, Alejandro, Fernando, Roberto, and Katy Perry, you all better watch out now. Do not call her name, don't text her, dont tweet her, don't anything her.

-Bouncing Wolf