Hangover, Kanye, and Polyester

^I daresay, the funniest movie I have ever seen.^ I myself found it very funny, but obviously not nearly as much as my family:

Mother and Father struggled to breath as they chocked in interminable roaring laughter. Sister daftly and unproductivle tried to feebly grasp the plot of the film, without much success, and laughed occasionally at random parts of the movie, attempting to decieve us into thinking she understood a fraction of the film.

The movie is worth watching and I recomend it. However, do not be decieved by its NR rating. It should without doubt be rated R.

Anyways, I had an odd dream last night.

I was swimming very fastly in this pool to get to the other side, but it was taking like forever. I didn't know why I was doing it, but I kept swimming and swimming. Then I realized I had a dress on. So I started choking on water because I was so surprized and I stood up. This is when I realized that the pool was only a few inches deep. Suddenly, there were a bunch paparazzi everywhere and Tyra Banks was there. She complemented me on my dress right after I forgot about it, so I began to try to take it off, but it was like stuck to my skin. Then Tyra hands me an Academy Award and announces that I just won the Golden Olympic medal for swimming. After she does that, Kanye West shows up and grabs a microphone which had just appeared in my hand and says: Imma let you finish but Michael Phelps had the best swimming win of all time. Just sayin'.

Then I wake up.

Which brings me to something else I would want to address.

A long time ago, we bought a dog. Dog grew up, and as she did, we eradicated some very frustrating habbits of hers. But one habbit we never got rid of was that she always slept on our beds. But Dog is very languid, and all she does all day is sleep and or lay down, so she used to spend all day in one of the beds. I argued that it was because her bed wasn't comfortable enough, but because it wasn't worth spending money (according to Mother and Father) we didn't. After ages of bribing begging them, they finally did so. Dog finally had a decent bed. There was however, one sin in this act. The bed was 100% polyester.

This got me worried. Isn't everyone complaining about polyester all the time for some reason?

And Karma was watching me as I purchased the polyester bed for my own selfish sleep-needing reasons. And Dog probably thought it was cotton. Shame on me. And I thought to myself: Is it possible that one day Dog will remember how comfortable our beds are?

So fast forward to yesterday night. I lay my head on the pillow, and miraculously, my eyes didn't close. And I am the type who gets knocked out as soon as he lays on the bed. But there was something wrong. It turned and turned the pillow over, I moved over to different places on the bed, but something was wrong. Then I found the culprit. There was dog, laying at my feet.

Oh I see how it is. You are taking my bed, huh? Well two can play that game.

Quickly, I took from the closet the old uncomfortable bed and replaced the new one in the corridor with it. I set my now crancky dog on it, and closed my door.

Oh yes. Sweet justice.

You mess with the bull, you get the horns.

-Wolfie