girls? ?(8)y Install Instructions:???1. Copy the Code??2. Log in to your Blogger account and go to "Manage
Layout" from the Blogger Dashboard??3. Click on the "Edit HTML" tab.??4. Delete the code already in the "Edit Template" box and paste the new code in.??5. Click "Save Template" an BLOGGER TEMPLATES - TWITTER BACKGROUNDS ?

Friday, December 10, 2010

5 Things I'd Prefer To Be Butterflies

So recently, my friend Flossing Sunshine  Red Sunshine (sorry Sunshine, I just forget every time) made a post about 5 things she hated. And she tagged everyone who read it. So I was like "Damn. She tagged me. Now I have to do this."

By the way, you know who Flossing Sunshine Red Sunshine is? (damn. it gets me every time.) You know... The girl who owns the blog "I Know Where Your Mom Lives"?
Just kidding. Shes not that stalkerish.
She owns a blog called polishedwithdust (thats polished with dust, not polish Ed with dust. Yeah, worry not, I made that mistake the first time too.) Well Polished With Dust is super hilarious and you should read it sometime.

Well now I have to post about things I hate. Which really is hard for me to do because I don't consider myself to really hate anything. I just strongly dislike things. But this list is supposed to be called 5 Things I Hate. Not 5 Things I Strongly Dislike. So I have to list five things I hate. But saying that just agonizs me so I will have to call it

5 Things I'd Prefer To Be Butterflies

That way I don't feel so guilty. Because if those things were butterflies, they would only have a lifespan of 2 weeks, but I wouldn't feel guilty because I turned them into beautiful animals while they were living. For 2 weeks. (Well i don't think they are beautiful. its their faces. Not at all atractive. But no animal that I think is beautiful dies as a 2 week lifespan. so yeah.)


Thing That I'd Prefer To a Butterfly #1:
Jokes I Do Not Understand.

Everytime I hear a joke, I feel obligated to laugh. Because the reason I don't laugh is either because
a) the person isnt a good storyteller
b) I am not smart enough to hear the joke
c) I just didnt get it

If the person just told a bad joke, I feel like I need to laugh so the person doesn't feel bad. If it's because I'm not smart enough to understand it, I have to laugh so I don't seem to be unsmart. And if I didn't get it, I laugh anyway because or else someone will probably come up and say "laughing makes you live longer." Which is something I completely dislike, but not enough to wish it were a butterfly.

And when I do laugh, something usually happens that makes me wish I hadn't laughed.

Situation A)
Person: And so he hides the pepper shaker in the garbage disposal! Hahahahahahahaha
Me: Hahaha (?)
Person: Wait how old are you?
Me: *insert age here*
Person: Dude, you aren't supposed to get this... How do you know what *insert thing I'd rather not have heard* is?

Situation B)
Person: And so he hides the pepper shaker in the garbage disposal! Hahahahahahahaha
Me: Hahaha (?)
Person: Oh, so you've watched *insert television show/movie*?
Me: Um, sure...
Person: Really, whats your favorite part/episode?
Me: Um......

Situation C)
Person: And so he hides the pepper shaker in the garbage disposal! Hahahahahahahaha
Me: Hahaha (?)
Person: Dude, you don't get it. Its an inside joke.



Thing I'd Prefer To Be A Butterfly #2
Homework

School is supposed to have a purpose. That purpose is to have us learn. In school. Which is why we go there. If we wanted to learn in our homes we wouldn't go to school. But they give us "home" "work" anyways. Its all a complete oxymoron. I dearly hope I spelled that correctly.

Not only does homework take up your time. To me anything that takes away time isn't only that. It takes away time, life, dignity. (I don't know where that last part came from. i'm just really pissed at homework right now.)

And besides that, it gives you fake hope.
"I'm so glad I'm almost done with this homework." 3 hours later. "Damn..."
"I'm so glad winter break's almost here, no more homework for 3 weeks!" One week later Teacher: "And so here you have this 21 day reading log to complete during winter break. And don't forget to do #3-9 in the workbook. Have a fun vacation everyone!" "DAMN."
"I'm so glad its finally summer! No more homework for three months!" 3 months later. Teacher: "So you must complete #1-57. Thats it." "&%*$#@"


Thing I'd Prefer To Be A Butterfly #3
Lines

No, not like geometrical lines. Waiting lines. Ugh.

Anything designed to keep you waiting automatically aquires my wanting for it to be a butterflies just because of its existence.

Don't get me wrong. I am a patient person (gosh this post is taking too long to write...) But sometimes, waiting lines just tick me off.

There are two kinds of lines. Hidden lines  and exposed lines. I know that sounds like some reference to Law & Order, but its not.

Hidden lines are awful. An example would be a line in an amusement park. You never know how long it is, how tiresome it is, or how long you will be standing in it.  It is agony. You think you are almost there, then you are not.

Exposed lines dont have any clothes. JUST KIDDING! Exposed lines are lines that you can see (all the way!) and so you know just how slow it is going, and how much time you will have to stand its annoying existance.



Thing I'd Prefer To Be A Butterfly #4
Awkward Moments

Why? Why Wolfie?

Because, they are just awful. And there are only a few ways to break them.

Awkward Turtle.
Punch the closest wall.
Punch the closest window.
Punch the closest person.
Pretend to pass out.
Pass out.
Break into song.
Break into dance.
Break something.
Say something random.
Eat.
Pray.
Love.
Impersonate Antoine Dodson.
Tell everyone to hide and later insist it was because someone was climbing their windows and snatching their people up.
Impersonate the Double Rainbow guy.
Double rainbow all the way across the sky.
What does this mean.
Its so bright and so vivid.

I'm sorry, what were we talking about?


Thing I'd Rather Be A Butterfly #5
I Am Your Father

Bet you didn't see THAT comming.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Instructions Not Included

There are many, many, MANY, many many many, MANY things I hate about the world. I would go in depth, but frankly, I
a) am currently installing a software
b) can NOT multitask (not on a weekend, anyway. I save the hard word for the week days.)
c) I am too tired, and honestly, too lazy.
d) I doubt you will have the patience to read the full list
e) I doubt Blogger has enough data space for me to post a post that long.

One of the many, many, etc... things I dislike about the world is that anything (which includes ANYTHING) you buy nowadays, comes with instructions. It bothers me that the simplest things come with instructions, because besides being uneeded, unusful, and unread, these uneeded instructions are what I blame for the now nonexistent part of the Amazon rainforest, some of which has been cut down for paper, which has been used for things as useless as instructions on how to work a set of kitchen measuring cups.

Lets be honest. Even when we know instructions are necessary, we never actually read them. It usually goes something like this.

"Ooh. Neat. A lamp."
"Ugh, why do these boxes come with such difficult packaging..."
"MOOOM!!! Do you have a bandaid?"
"No, I didnt cut myself trying to open this box. pshh, nooo, psh..."
"Ooh. Instructions."
"Step 1.... ugh. Im bored. I dont need this. I know how to build a lamp."
"Wait is this screw G or screw R?... Oh jesus were did valve A17 go?"
"Why isnt the tube fitting into the base? Ugh..."
"Oh screw this lamp. I like to be in the dark better anyways..."

And worst of all, when we do read the instructions, we finish reading them pretty much knowing LESS than what you started out with, because not only were the instructions overly simple or undesipherable, but you got so bored/confused that you forgot some of the things you already knew about the subject matter.

As I told you before, I am installing a software into the computer. I ordered it a couple of days ago, and I just got it in the mail. It was a small box with neat drawings on it. So there I am, all happy I am add yet one more software to the infinite collection I have, open the box, and...

Oh my dear Mary, mother of Jesus...

You would expect such a simple software to come with maybe one or two disks.
Ha. I wish.

I open the box and out come tubling FIVE different disks, and THREE different sets of instructions.

The software was blessed that I didn't give up on the spot.

I take a closer look at the three instructions. One of them reads "INSTALLING THE SOFTWARE." At that point I was practically hearing angel music in the background.

I open it.

Step 1: Install CD #1.

I look at the CD's. All of them say one thing, and one thing only: the name of the software.

@#*$&%

If you are going to give crappy instructions like that, you might as well not give any.

Eventually, I managed to install the damn thing. I say eventually because I would like to hold on to the bit of dignity I hold towards technology.

Friday, November 5, 2010

"Good Mornin-" "Oh shut up."

No. I dont like to wake up, and due to intuition (please tell me I am using this word correctly. because Ive heard it numerous times, and have always wanted to know its meaning. it is one of those moments that using this word seems appropriate,) I have a feeling you aren't a fan of it either.

If intuition means stalkerness (which I dearly, dearly hope it doesn't) than I must have come out as some cyberstalker. I swear I'm not. I'm just someone who finds a way of communicating my thoughts and ideas through the internet... gosh I need to find something constructive to do with my free time.

My point is that I confidently believes anyone finds joy in interupting their rest, which is crucial for your brain to function properly, and for you to live. As I have previously mentioned in a post you can find here, falling asleep is -- to say the least -- difficult for me to achieve. While waking up isn't nearly as challenging, it still is awfully irritating to do. Sleep is just a burden for me. No, scratch that, entering and exiting sleep is a burden.

Ugh. Subconsiousness is unecessarily annoying sometimes.

If sleeping wasn't necessary to maintain consiousness during daytime, or weren't so relaxing and peaceful and just so AMAZING, then I wouldn't sleep. It is far way too challenging to enter or exit it.

When I have to wake up, there are only a few things that detain me from remaining in my peaceful and stressless state of subconsiousness.
1) Knowing that if I don't wake up I will miss school and the next day I will have no free time at ALL with all the make up work I have. (note: oes not apply to the weekend. well, none of these apply to the weekend. the only thing that applies to the weekend is me running out of sleepiness.)
2)Morning Shows

The Today Show, in particular. That is the show that wakes me up in the mornings. I only became aware of this of the Today Show's importance to my success in avoiding unsuccessfullness when I attended a screening of Morning Glory, which will come later this month. (and which I will be reviewing in my other blog, TicketBoothTales. please go to the bottom of this post for an additional message on the subject)

I just ran out of things to say. So I guess the message at the bottom is pointless to be called the message at the bottom if you can see it without even scrolling down. Whatever.

(MESSAGE: If you haven't yet subscribed to this blog or my other blog, Ticket Booth Tales, the link to which you can find in the sidebar, then it would be a huge help if you did. I put a great deal of work on these blogs, and it would mean alot if you followed them. Kudos to Sharkie, who I know actually reads TBT occasionally, and along with SOME of you (ahem, ahem,) follows it. You dont HAVE to follow TBT, but it would mean a lot if you gave it a look and subscribed/followed it too. Thanks fo' yo' time', ya'll. adios)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Politics, Holidays, and Christine O'Donnell, who is NOT a witch.

This week, our World Geography class had us vote for every election currently happening in the state of Florida. I was expecting seeing a pole with Governor, Senator, and all that basic stuff, but the categories were never ending. I don't see the point in the Schools System having students do this, for practically all of us (well me, anyway) saw little scribles instead of the thousands of unfamiliar names the polls asked us about. There was only one name I recognized, and that was Charlie Christ. So I think you can guess for whom I voted for Senator.

I really hope you don't think I am some sort of illiterate and arrogant college student living in a messy college dorm who has no knowledge about politics, because I have not yet reached the age in which I can vote. I "voted" for a Schools poll. It was very unreasonable. And it reminded me of a discussion we had in World History the other day on whether or not kids should be able to vote. Half of the people were in favor of this, and the more I think about it, the more utterly ridicuolous, preposterous, and laughable this thought becomes. Most of the defence statements made had to do with "we will be affected too" and "we are better educated than some adults out there."

ha.

Ha.

HA.

Humor me.

And this isn't me being full of myself by comparing myself to my mostly naive peers, for I won't even pretend I know half of the terms I hear on CNN, and confess I find politics to be one of the most boring things I can put my mind on. My complete stupidity towards politics was made clear to me when I began to search amongst the list of candidates for the numerous polls for the name "Christine O'Donnell." Later, I found out Christine O'Donnell was running for Delaware Senator. Delware is very far away from Florida.

The reason I was so interested in voting for Christine O'Donnell was because I saw a very peculiar add on the interenet endorsing her (once again my ignorance towards politics is displayed by my method for choosing whom to vote for.) In the add, the first thing she says is "I'm not a witch." And, of course, the first think that pops into my mind was...

They've been asking you what you'll be for Halloween too?

And then...

Shoot Halloween is this weekend!

Halloween has never been, is not, and never will be one of my favored holidays. Why?

1) I have to make a decision on what dress up as, and after the first decade or so, my creativity begins to drain.
2) I have to buy/make a costume. Ugh.
3) Candy is not something I am as attached to as most people are.
4) The idea of me having to prepare so drastically for an evening that consists of me walking all over the neighboorhood asking people for their treats, and offering an alterate option of tricks, makes me tired to even think about in itself
5) Just.... ughhh.

And while when the faithful evening does come I do always come along to having a very good time, I still don't consider it something to necessarily look forward to. I look forward to Fridays. I look forward to movies. I look forward to vacations. I look forward to finishing a project/assignment for the sole purpose of not having to waste time and life on it any longer. I do not ever quite look forward to Halloween.  Its more like one of those things you force yourself to do because you know you will end up enjoying it.

So when Christine O'Donnell says "I'm not a witch," I know that it is not because of the fact that her opponents often attack her with the fact that she used to dwell in witchcraft as a young adult, but because she too is tired of people asking her what she will be for Halloween, for she (like me) does not find much interest in the holiday.

However, I am afraid I am not completely sure on how to enterpret the part where she says "I'm you." She repeats this several times, so I think this must be the prominent message of the add, and the only coherent and relevant enterpretations of this I have are either:
a) She has identity crissis.
b) She is giving us permission to be her.

I am going to say that she meant option B, because it is more far more interesting and drastically less disturbing than option A, so since I now am Christine O'Donnell, I can legally say this:

I'm Chirstine O'Donnell, and I approve this message.
And I'm not a witch.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Un-Eternal Sunshine of the Subconscious Mind

Never in my life have I found it easy to sleep. Its just my head is always filled with so many thoughts that falling into semi-consiousness is extremely difficult to achieve. However, I have arrived at the time in my life when it is especially difficult to fall asleep because not only do I have many thoughts about life and what not, but also of my, repeat, especially hectic schedule. With school, homework, and other irritations of life, it has never been more challenging to easily go to bed successfully. I think it doesn't help that I take a shower before I go to sleep, because it is very, very relaxing, and I guess I hope at the end of everyday that a shower is what it takes to get my mind off projects, homework, and --stop me before I begin listing. But while my strategy does work, it always seems to backfire.

It is true: taking a shower does wash away the worried thoughts of the day. But then, once you are stress free, you begin to think about the things that actually interest you, and this is the start of a process that is arguably just as bad as not being able to get stressful thoughts off your mind. With stresful thoughts, you don't want to think about them, but you kinda have to, for beside that being sorta how the human mind works, you always have that obligatory, crucial, yet occasionaly annoying feeling that you have to think about these things in order for your entire world not to explode due to a missed homework assignment or a failed project. With having thoughts about things you like, all the symptoms above apply, added to the fact that this time you want to things that interest you, which is a far more severe and powerful stimilus that conducts this bombardation of thoughts that will later on in the day make it seem impossible to fall asleep.

The shower is relaxing, but its peaceful pal does not last enough in my case, for after I take a shower, it is at least an hour and a half before I go to sleep, so it is inevitable that the Shower Effect will wear off. This is the point were the stressful thoughts begin to return, added to the thoughts off the things that actually interest me, to create a behemoth mass of thoughts comparable to the Atomic Bomb. And my ability to go to sleep is Hiroshima. Needless to say, it never goes very well for my ability to sleep.

And then I go to sleep. Horray! And the rainbows shine, the confetti falls, the angelic music is played, the crowd cheers,  andThe Hurt Locker wins best picture, oh joy oh joy, the credits roll in... And then I wake up.  I look at the clock. Only about five minutes have passed.

Yip dee doo...

Friday, July 2, 2010

Don't call her name, Alejandro

I don't know who you are, Alejandro, but if you're reading this, don't call her name.

So I thought Lady Gaga's Telephone music video was bizarre, but I didn't even know what was coming. I mean it is a song about a telephone, but the video is about her getting bailed out from prison and then going out on a killing rampage. I mean that video had everything from mind reading to cooking lesson; she gave you all but the kitchen sink- and she even gave us that on her tutorial of how to make a sandwich.

And now there is her Alejandro video. Damn. That was something, alright. Word of advice: you might not want to watch this at night by yourself unless you are the kind of self-distructive person who enjoys having nightmares. It was scary. I mean seriously, man, you do not wanna call this chick. This video was about this guy who died, so I'm thinking it was a warning, maybe. Like "this what gonna happen if you call my name, Alejandro."

You wanna know what I think? I think Alejandro is the same guy she and Beyoncé where telling to stop calling them in Telephone. Alejandro, she does not wanna talk anymore, you heard me? She's got her head and her heart on the dance floor, so just quit trying to talk to her. It's no use trying to call her name, either, and tell you what, I think you just crossed the line, cause in that video, she did not hint settling this over with a peace agreement; there was a coffin, dude. Oh, I see whats going on... You think that she wants your love and all your lovers revenge, and that you and her could write a bad romance! No, dude, she wasn't rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ing to you, cause if she wanted your romance so much, she wouldn't be telling you to shut up. I hate to break it to you, but she doesn't want to play a love game with you either; you just forget about her riding your disco stick now. She might have wanted to, but clearly you've screwed up, because thats two songs now in which she has been trying to tell you to shut up.

And Katy Perry, why did you even waltz in into this whole dillema, anyway? You were saying (well, tweeting really,) "Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling fart jokes." Girl, this was between her and Alejandro; you did not have to butt in. I feel sorry for you because you know what this girl is capable of. Besides, you're not the one to talk. Using a bizarre made up candy world for a video is as cheap as an artist using blasphemy as entertainment.

So, Alejandro, Fernando, Roberto, and Katy Perry, you all better watch out now. Do not call her name, don't text her, dont tweet her, don't anything her.

-Bouncing Wolf

Friday, April 9, 2010

Roman Polanski and Water Bottles

So I finished reading my book today, its called The Ghost.
It's about this ghost writer.
Ooh la la you don't know what that means?
I'll explain.
Oh you do. I'll tell you anyways.
Its someone who gets hired by somewone who wants to write a book to write it for them, but the other person is the one who gets the most credit.
So in my book, this ex-prime minister of England hires this ghost writer to assist him with his memoirs (OMAIGOSH I DON'T WANT THIS TO DISTRACT YOU SO I'M WRITING IT IN PARENTHESIS. MEMOIRS IS PRONOUNCED MEM-WARS,) so the guy accepts. But the 'ghost' he learns that his predecesor died mysteriously and that his client is being charged with war crimes, and is in refuge in another country.
I read this book because it was made into a movie.
Then I found out the movie was directed by Roman Polanski.
Which is ironic because he is directing a movie about a guy who is running from a country because he is being charged with crime in another country... is it just me or did Roman Polanski just direct a movie about himself?

So today, I was in class. And in this class, I sit in the farthest seat from the door. So, naturally, I am usually the last one to leave. So just as about the bell was going to ring, I began slyly moving to empty seats closer to the door, one by one. I was really careful so the teacher wouldn't notice. And then, of course,

BAM

My damn water bottle fell on the floor with the loudest BAM you can ever imagine, and it didn't stop there. It just kept skipping on, with smaller but still loud BAMS.

So close, so close...

-Wolfie

Monday, April 5, 2010

Sweety, I'm home!

Allow me to refrase that!
I'm Snape, the potions master.
My faithful followers, I'm back from vacation!

Yes, you did not misread that, nor did I commit the terrible crime of typos. I, indeed, actually went on vacation!!!!!!!!! On an actual plane!!!!

Where did I go?
Well if I told you, the cyberstalkers would gain more info on moi, so I ain't tellin'.

Throughout my perilous journey to relax I gathered many things to post about. But so I don't make a huge post, I will only post about my tale of airplanes.

During my trip, I:
a) Remembered how horrid airplane food is.
b) Remembered how un-claustrophobic-friendly airplane lavatories are.
c) Forgot that you should not have a cup of water in front of you when an airplane is taking off.

-Wolfie

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Flo vs. The Geico Gecko/The Money You Could Be Saving With Geico/The Caveman

I just love car insurence commercials. Well, actually, I just love Geico and Progressive Commercials.
My question for you is,
What do you prefer: Progressive of Geico Commericals?

To me, no commecial beats Flo.




But of course, nothing beats this one:



Especially since yesterday my mom bought my dad a European shoulder bag. Except I don't think it was European... It's probably another Made in China thing. So, in other words, my mom bought my dad an Asian shoulder bag yesterday.
So remember, kids, if you want a carier in the European  Asian shoulder bag business, you better start learning Chinese.
I once bought a USA flag, and it said made in China. Ironic.

-Wolfie

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Ping Pong and Floss Her

If that makes any sense.
I know it doesn't, just play a long for a moment, will you?

So I must applaud (did I spell that wrong?) all of my faithful fans who pushed me out of my "should I stop blogging"atmosphere. I would like to give a huge THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH to Sharkie who finally became an official follower.
Oh my. Eight followers already!
Guys I am so disappointed. Were are my 19 followers? How are we supposed to beat Sporks Are Useless at this rate?
Oh I'm just kidding. (Actually I think I am forced to say that in order to avoid conflicts with Blogger and or ethnical debates)
You guys are the best. When we get to ten I am going to make the best ten follower blog bash ever! And before that I'm going to have to figure out how to do so.

So today I set our goal. We need to get 10 followers ASAP. That can be our number one goal. After having more followers than Sporks Are Useless.

I would now like to show you a list.

Ten Things You Wish You Never Knew About BouncingWolf
1. I follow Desperate Housewives.
2. I don't stalk them, don't worry.
3. I meant that I watch the show episode for episode.
4. Seriously I would not stalk fake housewives that are desperate...
5. I don't stalk real people either.
6. Oh my I am not very concentrated.
7. Try touching all of your teeth with your tongue at the same time.
8. You couldn't do it, could you?
9. You know gullable isn't in the dictionary, right?
10. I hope you fell for that.

-Wolfie

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Stop tah-tah-talkin that blah, blah, blah

I'm sorry but that song is just not good. At. All.
Well, in my opinion, that is. Which, here at BTDT, is the only one that matters.
No I'm just kidding.
Or am I?

So I'm listening to my iPod (III can make your bedrock! That song is soo good...) so I am kinda not really that consentrated in this post.

Ooh caught in a bad romance.
Rah rah ah ah ah
Roma roma ma
Gaga Ooh la la
Want your bad romance
I want ugly, I want your desease, I want you everything as long as its free
I want your love
Love, love, love!

I know that there might be some of you that don't like Lady Gaga, but I have just gotta say that I think she pwns! Yesterday (Friday) I finally got to see the Telephone music video, because I was not able to watch it at like eleven at night on "E! Entertainment"
It
was
so
awsome!
But still it was very strange. She said she felt bad for the Bad Romance video because this one was going to be so much better. It kinda was.

I want your love and I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance!!
I want your love and all your lover's revenge
You and me could write a bad romance!!
Oh oh oh oooh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Caught in a bad romance!

Again, Lady Gaga is the best.

-Wolfie

Monday, March 8, 2010

I can't believe I am saying this,

but this right here is my Hannah Montana moment.

So if it isn't obvious yet, you must have noticed that I no longer put in that much thought or effort into this blog. I've moved on to things that interest me on, not that any of you care.

BoucingWolf was a name that I chose because of the theme of my original blog, which was randomness. Now I am more devoted to my other blog which none of you really care about either.

So it came to my mind that I should choose a name that best fits my new blog devotion, since both you, my faithful followers, and I have lost interest in this blog.

My new name is Mr. Ticket Clerk, or I should say, my other self. It is kinda the Hannah Montana to my Miley Cyrus. But in reality, here at BTDT, I will continue to be BouncingWolf.

So show support, or do not. Go ahead and unfollow if you choose, or stay in touch for some of my not-so-frequent-posts; it is your choice. I have lost the interest I once had in this blog, but I will still post; for now. If it appears that my faithful followers do show the devotion and sympathy for this blog that they once had, then, I might choose not to shut it down. And maybe, I could put the effort and interest in it I once had.It is all up to you, for you, my faithful followers, are what this blog is about.

You asked for it. As they say in some country whose name escapes me,
"You want to milk the cow, but you won't feed it."

-Wolfie

Friday, March 5, 2010

Ke$ha is like the best!

Hahahaha ain't that funny?
Well its a personal joke, so I don't know why you are laughing...

One day you'll hear me singing on the radio!!!
A song that I wrote on the lies you told!
And when you hear me singing whoaaaaa!
Consider this the bitterest goodbye.
Kiss mine.

Sorry for the randomness.

So last time I went to the movies, to see Valentines Day, there was the strangest poster of Alice in Wonderland:
Well if you look at it from affar it looks very scary. I mean it is all too happy and colourful and overwhelming... If I didn't see the title or know its cast or crew, I would have nightmares on that poster...

You see that wormy thing right here?<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Thats the hooka caterpilar thing. It actually looks creepy on this one picture.














-Wolfie

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

That was very punny.

No seriously, that was very punny.
I'm laughing, can't you see?

I absolutely hate how sarcasm does not transfer well over text.

So I have been trying to find puns that are actually funny, and since I will laugh at anything, I test my puns on people to see if they are actually funny. These are the REAL funny ones, origninals by me:

So my friend has a ginea pig named Apollo. It is very light.

So a patient texts a dentist "Can you clean my teeth?" and the dentist responds "But IDK you."

These are some that are not MY puns, so they are not nearly as funny as mine:

Q: What did the seed say when it grew?
A: Geometry

Q: Why did the Energizer Bunny get arrested?
A: Because it was charged with battery.

Q: How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
A: Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontyear.


If you laughed, you are very wise. If not, then you have no sence of humor.

Again, I hate how sarcasm doesn't transfer well over text.

-Wolfie

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Its too late to apologize?

Thats what I'm gessing, given that a certain blog of mine remains having only three followers (Thank you, FlossingSunshine and Sharkie. Sunshine, this post is in no way reffering to you; Sharkie, I'm not done about you)

I do recall making two posts advertising and telling you to become followers of Ticket Booth Tales. I guess this shall be the fourth.
Hikari. DancingToast. Become. Followers. Now. !. !. !. Please. :).

And I just noticed that I have five followers on BTDT instead of six, and my five followers do not include one of the people who actually comment, and therefore, read BTDT. You know who you are. So follow. The rest of you, figure it out, and tell them to follow.
Please :)

Thank you. Now please enjoy a few words I have to tell you.

Bumblebee. Blueberry. Banana phone.
That will be all.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

THIS is why I don't watch television.

There are no good television shows on.
Only some, like Greys Anatomy and Glee.
And also because there are too many commercials.
Most of them are stupid.

Like yesterday, there was this commercial in which there were some people in this business meeting. And everytime the speaker turned his back on them these two people would start making out, and everytime he faced them they stopped. It somehow turned out to be a travel company commercial.

The other day, I saw another bad one. It started with this woman putting a bunch of make up on and saying how georgeous she looked. All of a sudden they show this car.

Another day, and I recall this one very clearly, I saw another good one. My friend had told me about it, so I kept out a close eye for it, and I actually saw it. It was this guy in front of this frozen pole, and this hillbilly next to him was like "Common, lick it, it won't stick," And right before the guys toungue touched the pole, this sign for this encyclopedia pops up.

Oh what has the world become...

-Wolfie

Saturday, February 20, 2010

In which the muffin man is allergic to wheat.

Oh my I havent posted in a long time.

It would be wierd if Lady Gaga had a poker party in which no one could read her poker face.

Just sayin.

I really do not know what to post about.

What about the Mets?

Oh who am I kidding I don't watch baseball on weekends.

Oh who am I kidding I don't watch sports on weekends.

Oh who am I kidding I don't watch sports.

Oh who am I kidding I don't watch television.

Oh who am I kidding I do.

Oh who am I kidding I am just trying to fill this post with fluff.

Man that was a poor choice of words.

-Wolfie

Monday, February 15, 2010

Note to self.

Remember to give yourself notes to self in order not to forget what to post about.

I have many random things to say because I just remembered about them.

Last week, when I was walking home from school, I walked past a red light and I noticed there was this little kid crying. I could have sworn that kid was saying
"I wanna die!"
I thought that was really emo especially for a kid of that age. Then I realized the kid was saying
"I wanna dog!"
Yeah, I should have known little kids don't suffer from depression that early on in life.

Also, last week when I was walking home from school (on a different day though) I felt something in my shoe. I didn't want to stop because I like getting home early. I walked and walked, each step making my foot ache more. When I got home, I realized I had a plastic spoon inside my shoe.

You all know who Susan Boyle is?
She's 48. Just thought I'd point that out.

I was looking at SporksAreUseless' random facts reference website, and I learned that elephants are the only mammals that can't jump. Elephants are the wickedest animals, after manatees. I mean they are just so elephanty. Dwarf elephants should have been invented by now. I mean its 2010! Where are all the flying cars? The least they should have invented are dwarf elephants. They would be so cool to own. Like poodle sized elephants.
Pig sized llamas.
Goldfish sized manatees.
Mantee sized goldfish.
Ew scratch that last one.

-Wolfie

Saturday, February 13, 2010

I will say this again.

Go to Ticket Booth Tales and become a follower.

Funny story time.

I look for a template for my new blog.
I look for an hour.
I find the perfect one, almost exact to the one I had in mind, with a gloomy beach and this bridge thing with these mountains besides it called "By the Sea".
I use it.
I spend an hour putting in details, like copying and pasting reviews I did in BTDT, listing movies, putting links, making widgets, etc...
I look at the end result and sigh in happiness.
I get an email from said Sharkie who informs me she decided to change her template.
I laughed.
I thought, "Wouldn't it be funny if she had the same template as me?"
Speak of the devil.
I go to Warm Summers Cold Winters and see she has the very same perfect gloomy beach/mountain template "By the Sea" that I had.
I feel bad and decide that it wasn't her fault.
I spend two hours looking for a new template.
I give up.
I go to bed after wasting four hours of blog decorating.

Anywhom, I am watching The Wolfman tonight. I am expecting to watch Valentine's Day and Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief.

Ooops. Sorry. I'm talking about movies again.

-Wolfie

Friday, February 12, 2010

BouncingWolf takes a step towards... eh I don't really have a good title for this.

I have a short yet vital announcement to make. I have made an addition to my blog list. Why?

I know it is not all of you who enjoy my hobby of watching movies. I know. And, as I promised, and as evident, I have not changed BTDT to an all movie blog. But since I could not resist, I made a separate movie blog, so I can write about what I enjoy and please you, my faithful followers, with my randomness and funniness. I do ask you to become a follower of my new blog, Ticket Booth Tales, the link for which I provide bellow, even if you are not going to read it. But you already know that if you are looking for a movie to watch, you can visit TBT for a warming recomendation or a straight foreward warning.

http://ticketboothtales.blogspot.com/

Sincerily,

-Wolfie

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Not-So Genuine Song

Hey, hey, you, you, hello, hello; don’t know why you say goodbye I say hello.


Now that it’s raining more than ever  feel the rain on your skin, but God does it feel so good! Imma be up in the club, it’s a party in the USA (I’ll be there) and I have got no service in the club you see, see; this was never the way the way I planned, not my intention. I’m like a bird, we’re flying first class, up in the sky somewhere over the rainbow, where there is love. We are the champions, we are strong, heartache to heartache, but we kick them to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger. I’ve been traveling down this road too long, I can’t go any further than this. Whoa, I never meant to brag, no one in the corner’s got a swagga’ like us, I’ve got that boom boom pow. You’re a heartbreaker, you’re a jerk, your toxic, so shut up and put your money where your mouth is. Marry me Juliet, I want your bad romance, imma tell you one time, why you so obsessed with me? I used to be love drunk, my daddy said I go to rehab but I say beat it. Somebody call nine one one cause I’m burnin’up, burnin’ up under my umbrella. Mama mia! Here we go again in New York, concrete jungle where we will, we will rock you. This used to be a funhouse and I’m here, to remind you, of the mess you left when you went away; guess this means you’re sorry, it’s too late to apologize.

I got this idea from DancingToast's punishment for not posting in Sporks Are Useless for nearly a week. Her post was basically all lyrics, the idea was my Parter-In-Crime's, Flossing Sunshine. I hope mine makes more sense than hers, because hers didn't make any sense. I'm sorry, but it didn't.
And if your a copyright agent, I guess I am obligated to say that none of this stuff belongs to me, but to Avril Lavigne, The Beatles, Rihanna, Jay-Z, Natasha Bettingfield, Paramore, The Black Eyed Peas, Miley Cyrus, Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Nelly Furtado, Fergie, Harold Arlen & E.Y. Harbug, Queen, Pat Benatar, Ke$ha, Justin Timberlake, T.I., Kanye West, Lil Wayne, M.I.A., New Boyz, Britney Spears, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, Boys Like Girls, Amy Whinehouse, Sean Kingston, the Jonas Brothers, ABBA, Alicia Keys, P!nk, Alanis Morissette, Kelly Clarkson, and One Republic.

I have an update for my The Wolfman watching. I'll be watching it on Saturday.

-Wolfie

Monday, February 8, 2010

OHMAIGOSH IT'S HORROR MOVIE WEEKEND!


*lightning* *thunder* *lights go out* *sudden silence* *strange noise downstairs* *very femenine scream*

So the second weekend of every month is Horror Movie Weekend *lightning* *thunder* *lights go out* *sudden silence* *strange noise downstairs* *very femenine scream*, so I believe I will be watching The Wolfman this weekend, Friday I think.

I'm sorry I could not supply the trailer directly to BTDT but I am giving you the link.

I am more madly excited for Alice in Wonderland. Because its Alice. In Wonderland. How can you not love it. I bet its going to make more than $350,000,000 , and its stands here in the post as proof. I'm going to make a betting table on how much mone movies will make.

The Wolfman- more than $200,000
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief- more than $300,000,000
Alice in Wonderland- more than $350,000,000

If I loose any of these bets I shal make a review of Mean Girls as my punishment. If I lose two I shall review The Jonas Brother 3D concert movie thing as my punishment. If I lose three I shall review both.

-Wolfie

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Captain Sweeney Wonka the Hatter

Frankly, I am growing tired of Johnny Depp. Since (A.D.) 2,000 he as stared in Pirates of the Caribbean, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sweeney Todd, and now he will star in Alice in Wonderland. I mean he has played a drunk failish pirate, a chocolate freak, a serial killer barber, and now a mad hatter. How about if you give the other actors a chance to play cool roles? I'm sorry, Mr. Depp, but you are coming as a sort of Cool Role Hawk.
On the bright side he has variety.




-Wolfie

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I'm a bee watching the Oscars

I'm a bee, I'm bee, I'm a, I'm a, I'm bee
I'm a bee, I'm bee, I'm a, I'm a, I'm bee
I'm a bee, I'm bee, I'm a, I'm a, I'm bee

I'm a bee, bee, bee, bee, I'm a, I'm a bee
I'm a bee, bee, bee, bee, I'm a, I'm a bee
I'm a bee, bee, bee, bee, I'm a, I'm a bee

(fast forward >>>>>)

I'm a bee up in the hive
Flyin' where ever I want
I'm a bee, sippin' that honey
Stingin' and buzzing all night
Oh, lets hope I fly forever
Buzzin' in your ear when ever
On and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and


*sighs* I'm sorry, self, but that parody was a fail.
The original song is so good. I myself am not a fan of rap, but how can you not like the Peas?

Oh I miss good parodies *clears throat* ya hear me, PWD crew?

I mean the Black Eyed Peas made the comeback of 2009, which, to me, pawned Britney Spear's comeback! I mean we all knew SHE was going to make a comeback, but the Black Eyed Peas just kinda dissolved, and all of a sudden, they just poof-ed back into the musical, soul food craving world, and I was like "Oh my! You people stille exsist!"

I wonder if Lady Gaga is gonna make one of those "By, ya'll, I'll see ya'll in a year. Buh-bye!"
That would be so cliche...

OhmaigoshawardseasoncontinuesastheAcademyAwardnominationscameouttwodaysago
Whoo-hoo
Avatar has 9 nominations, to my not-thrill
And *gasps* District 9 has a nomination for Best Picture
*double gasp* The Blind Side has a Best Picture nomination.
Up has a Best Picture nomination!
Well, there are ten Best Picture nominations this year...

Imma be rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-roma-romama-gaga-oh-la-la-ing for a long time because that song is stuck in my head, along with Imma Be and Thats Not My Name.

So Imma Be going now. Don't worry, not for a year. Only for a couple of days.

-Wolfie

Sunday, January 31, 2010

We're all fans.



Now isn't that like awesome? I wonder how they editied it... It musn't have been that challenging.
Go Lady Gaga! We at BTDT support you at the Grammy's!
Oh did I mention the Grammy's are tonight? Well they are, at 8PM Eastern Time on CBS, thats channel 2 for me. Oh my! Lady Gaga has 5 nominations!
What's that, Britney? You only have one? Oh what a pitty...
I doubt many of you will watch it, though, cause I don't know if many of you are into music.

I really want to make this short, because I am kind of lazy busy, so I would like to end this post asking you, my faithful fans, a crucial question.

Are you a Mac or a PC?

-Wolfie

Thursday, January 28, 2010

How do I cope with this?

The platter is filled with mouthwatering chocolate pastries; oozing caramel lays there shining, everything looking like heaven. I reach for the most delicious looking one in the corner, next to the toffees; I take a bite, then-

That's enough for me. I am already nauseated by its overwhelming sweetness. Now that I rethink the situation, I think to myself, why did I ever have one in the first place?

I am sorry, but I am a wierd person in general when it comes to sugar. I mean it is a rare situation when I am actually lured to have chocolate or anything of the sort. It's just I am way too easily nauseated by sweetness. Its like today, when the Academy was selling Lollipops for Pups, I swear I think three fourths of the people there bought one. The brand claims that its lollipops are gourmet, but to me, they are another ball of frozen syrup on a stick. I just can't take a lot of candy stuff. Except, of course, gummies and gum.

I just realized I am too lazy person when I go to other people's houses at night. Let me rephrase that, I am too lazy when I go to other people's houses. Scratch that. I am too lazy.

Anyways, my computer is failing on me. We think it is a virus of some sort, because it will just randomly shut down or say "Malfunction", and other typical malfunctioning technology things. It will also just start randomly beeping, which gives me SOME hope that the anti-virus is working. Because, and I am trying to look at this positively, it's probably one of those cursing viruses, and though the anti-virus failed to block it, it probably is still covering the curse words with the beeping noise.

-_- How do I keep up with this?! The way I look at it is that someday I will be rich and famous and be living in New York City, and receive letters from my faithful fans complaining about how they have to cope up with failing computers, bad movies, and annoying GPSs, and I will be able to say "Been there done that"

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Oh dear... Another cheap AT&T commercial...

I mean those commercials are so stupid! They try to decieve people, but really, they never actually do (or at least that is just me.) For example.




To begin with, your five little categories are so stupid.
1) A better 3G experience is purely subjective.
2) Talk and surf at the same time. Well, only a few phones have the capability, and it is only one little feature, for crying outloud!
3) Most popular smart phones. Ehh that does not mean you are better......
4) Access to over 100,000 apps. Oh come on, we both now that's the app store, not you, smart one....
5) Name that starts with the letter V. If this is your attempt to make Verison Wireless look bad by making it only win one stupid category, allow me to HA. Your categories were all stupid and only specified to small features of AT&T. It is not so much of an exageration to say that this category is as important as the others.

Example #2




Um, the AT&T box had a head start!

Even I am an AT&T customer, and this isn't me trashing your company, and I have no complains about your service, but if you guys are going to advertise, do it honestly!

Seriously, its basically like saying:

"Purchase Heaven's Valley Bee Honey Bee Made Honey! Plus, if you buy one for the price of two, you get one free! Heaven's Valley Co. is not responcible for any injuries, deaths, succesful and non-succesful suicide attempts. And by the way, Earth's Valley Bee Bumble Bee Made Honey has 1% sugar."


-Wolfie

Monday, January 25, 2010

District 9

"I just want everyone watching this right now to learn from what has happened."

So, I have just finished watching District 9. I am speechless.

Yeah right, you wish... I am never speechless.

I feel like this is Peter Jackson weekend or something, because as you might recall, I recently reviewed The Lovely Bones, which was directed by Peter Jackson, and now I am reviewing a movie produced by Peter Jackson. I feel the sudden urge to write a Peter Jackson biography... You know what, followers? Change of plan; instead of reviewing District 9 I will be telling the story of Peter Jackson's life.

Just kidding.

District 9, as I said before, was produced by Peter Jackson, and directed by Canadian director Neill Blomkamp, who's only feature film is District 9, and I think he is going to get some calls from producers after this one. This film stars Sharlto Copley as Wikus Van De Merwe, Jason Cope, Eugene Khumbanyiwa, David James, and William Allen Young. If you are the type who sees movies based on the actors in them, then you probably won't watch this movie. Unless you also look at the producer, you won't be that lured to watch this film only based on the actors. So for all of you skeptics out there, THIS MOVIE IS DIRECTED BY PETER JACKSON! And most of you still probably don't care.

District 9 switches from documentary format to the regular really fancy camera and awesome lighting format, which I love. It follows an alternative reality where twenty years ago, an unidentified flying object is spotted over Johannesburg, South Africa. After some exploration, millions of arthropod-like extraterrestrial species who are not well taken care of are found, and are given shelter on Earth on a government camp, District 9. There, what the human population has adapted to referring to as "prawns", engage in the act of criminal activities, but are forced to be kept there because the government has separated them from the mother ship. Without any prawns on board, the mother ship cannot move, so the government decides upon leaving it over the city. Over time, humans develop a dislike towards these humanoids and grow tired of their destructive and hazardous activities. The government decides upon setting up a separate camp, District 10, 200 kilometers outside of Johannesburg, were prawns are supplied more decent shelter.

Multinational United (MNU) is given the task of relocating prawns to District 10, but to do so legally, they must get each of the 1.8 million prawns residing District 9 to sign eviction notices. Wilkus Van De Merwe is promoted as MNU field operative, and sets out to harshly persuade the prawns to sign the eviction notices. Along the way, he is exposed to an alien fluid which causes his DNA to mutate into prawn DNA. Since prawn weapons can only respond to prawn DNA, he becomes highly valuable, and is taken into government custody, were he is harshly treated as a biological experiment.

What really makes District 9 unique is that it could easily turn from an alien movie into a human movie, because its plot demonstrates the human nature of discrimination and vicious ambition. It really demonstrates how these people really treat these aliens horridly, even though the only reason they are stuck in Earth is because of technical malfunction. If there weren't any subtitles to the extraterrestrial dialogue, we would probably think of them as this antagonistic invader, but since you understand what they are saying, you are driven to feel pity for them and for how they are treated so unfairly. You see how the government really forces them to sign these notices that should really be optional, and how even the protagonist begins the movie with having this really rude nature towards prawns.

It really is a very human film. It shows how amongst District 9, prawns form gangs, smuggle weapons, steal, and do that sort of things that you would find in a troubled human community in reality. You see how humans sneak into District 9 and form this sort of mafia within it, and how their cruel ambition to master alien weaponry leads them to kill prawns for weapons. It is genius how they sneaked their belief of sorcery and the supernatural into District 9, which very much makes District 9 like any other troubled city, except it has aliens. It all feels very genuine and human.

You even see the example of government mistreating their own people when you see them literally force this mutated, shocked, scared, and innocent field agent down as they try to pry his chest open. It shows both how far people will go in really desperate straits and how ignorant they can be.

The story is partly told in this documentary format, which, if the events in this movie were really happening, you would actually expect to be on the History Channel or on Discovery, and it gives it such a genuine feel. I mean the CGI (special effects) is amazing, but that is really not what captivates you in this movie, which is just downright incredible.

The ending is one of my favorite parts about this film, because it is so not by the book. At first, you think, "That's it?", but then when you think about, it actually is quite satisfying, and it is somewhat more realistic as a fictional story goes.
District 9, although sometimes graphic, is visually stunning, yet manages to captivate the audience in a movie that can't really fit into the category of science fiction, about discrimination and impatience, has a genuine ambiance, has a very satisfying outcome, and tells a very human story.

My verdict: 8/10

-Wolfie

Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Lovely Bones


The last time I went to the movie theater was to see Sherlock Holmes drastically disappoint my expectations. The last time I saw a movie was when I bought The Ugly Truth on pay-per-view, which led me to mercilessly trash it on my review. It seemed as if though film was failing me recently.

Thank you, Peter Jackson.

Peter Jackson was the director of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and is also known for directing the 2005 remake of King Kong. He produced the critically acclaimed District 9. His latest big-screen project is The Lovely Bones.

The Lovely Bones follows Susie Salmon, after her murder, as she looks down on her family and murderer from the In-Between, a sort of limbo state of mind place, the horizon between heaven and Earth. It is based on the 2002 novel by Alice Sebold. The book received critical acclaim, but not the same for the movie.

It is odd that the studio said they wanted to hire a fairly unknown cast, because, then again, it stars Mark Wahlberg, a former rapper, as Susie's determined father; Rachel Weisz, who won an Academy Award for Best Actress, as Susie's depressed and unfaithful mother; Stanley Tucci, who has played Julia Child's husband and an editor at a fashion magazine, as Mr. Harvey, Susie's killer; Susan Sarandon, another Academy Award winning actress, as Grandma Lynn; and Academy Award nominated Saoirse Ronan as Susie. I would have thought they were aiming at an all-star cast!

One of the highlights of this movie is definitely the acting. Stanley Tucci is just phenomenal as this serial killer middle aged neighbor, and he really managed to make my skin crawl every time he came on screen. They disguised him so well that when he was sitting in a bloody bathtub I had to remind myself this had been the jolly old French food eating husband this past summer in Julie&Julia. It really surprised me how terrifying he could act, given that he hadn't been given such antagonistic roles before.

After watching the movie, it is difficult picturing anyone playing Susie besides Saoirse Ronan. She just has these really innocent blue eyes, and can play such a complex character. Susan Sarandon plays Grandma Lynn, who with a cigarette on one hand a cocktail on the other provides the much needed comic relief.

My only issue with the acting was Mark Walhberg . Mark Walhberg just wasn't right for this role as the loving and sad father, probably because he is just too used to playing Mr. Tough Guy, and probably tried too hard to demonstrate his acting range. His role was supposed to be 'the father who loved his daughter so so much' but it just came off as this troubled man who has anger issues.

Another down side is the subplot of Susie and her romance with her crush, Ray. There was a scene with them nearing the end of the movie that was so irrelevant I just wanted someone to go in there and say "Get a room or leave already before the bad guy wins!" It could have so easily been eliminated, because it wasn't as if though it was comic relief or anything, it was just there for the sake of making the movie long.

But there are many more up sides than down sides. The plot line was so beautifully told, and there was this perfect balance between this sort of dream world and reality, which for me, blended just enough to make the two connect well. The CGI (the special effects) was just amazing, and in my opinion it was not overwhelming at all, because I think it was necessary both to show Susie's imagination and to provide some relief to the plot's inevitable dark sequences. 

The scenes in the real world were also pretty damn good. The many time period lapses gave the film a sort of genuine feel, especially when it showed the characters just doing everyday things, that not only showed they were supposed to be normal people, but also found a way to connect to the main plot line. For example, I thought it was pretty smart when they showed Mr. Harvey sketching his little clubhouse/dungeon, because it showed how it was a process, and how he didn't just decide to go out one night and make a chamber under the cornfield, and showed how Peter Jackson wasn't hurried to tell the story, but he wanted to make it detailed and well told in a way that wasn't tedious, something that I thought he failed to do with King Kong, but improved in this movie. He also knew what to put and what not to in the film. Like when Susie is murdered, he doesn't actually show you how Mr. Harvey did it, but you still get the general idea of what happened in there without making it gruesome to watch. I mean even when you see the other dozen victims of Mr. Harvey laying disfigured in a chicken coop or sinking slowly in a lake, he doesn't over do it, and it doesn't make you want to cover your eyes. I was really happy with the resolution, but then again, that is my opinion, because it gave you the sense of justice that wasn't so by the book.

All in all, this movie was much better than I thought it would be. I think what today's critics are really missing is a broad imagination, and they have learned to go too much by the book rather than say "Hey, that was creative!"
The Lovely Bones is a great movie, that although has some minor flaws, is wonderfully directed and is emotionally stunning, shocking, and satisfying.

My verdict: 9/10

-Wolfie

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Ugly Truth

Scratch that.... The Horrid Truth.

The ugly truth is that some movies just miss the bull's eye. The ugly, ugly truth is that some movies drastically miss the bull's eye. The ugly, ugly, ugly truth is that some movies just miss the dart board, period.

The Ugly Truth, directed by Robert Luketic, follows a control freak television program producer, Abby Richter, who is forced to work with an offensive and self absorbed television host, Mike Chadway, who is the host of The Ugly Truth, a television show in which he reveals what really makes men and women tick. The two instantly develop a disliking for each other, but eventually Mike ends up composing Abby's demeanor as a woman to get her a boyfriend, using his dating theories to guide her relationship with her neighbor, Colin.
This movie was a big disappointment. It was a very brittle set up of lame clichés, stupid gags, and the same old "they hate each other but they end up falling in love" plot. The outcome is very predictable, and the jokes are just plain not funny. The characters are so overwhelmingly stereotyped, and even as an adult movie, the scenes with inapproprate references (in other words, all of the scenes) are just plain awkward to watch. I found myself thinking "They actually thought that was going to be funny?..." numerous times throughout the film.
So if you want to see a movie in which a control freak falls in love with someone she previously hated, go and watch The Proposal again for a better outcome.

The ugly truth in this movie is so dreadfully hideous that it is not even as if the dart missed the dart board, it is as if it missed the dart board and landed on your foot.

My verdict: 3/10
-Wolfie

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I don't have anybody to thank!

It's trivia Thursday!
Did you know...
The novel "The Devil Wears Prada" was written by a former assistant of editor-in-chief of fashion magazine Vogue, and is speculated to be based on her real life experience as assistant of Anna Wintour. Ironically, Wintour attended the New York premier of the film adaptation wearing head-to-toe Prada.

And I will also go ahead and do speech Friday because I will not be able to post tomorow.

"If you start playing violins, I will tear this join apart. First of all I would like to thank Susan Downey for telling me that Matt Damon was going to win so don't bother to prepare a speech. That was at about ten in the morning. I don't have anybody to thank! I'm sorry, everyone's been so gratuitous, it was collaboration, and we all did this together. Certainly I'm gonna thank Warner Brothers. Alan Horn and... My god robbing off these guys, they needed me! Avatar is gonna takes us to the cleaners! If they didn't have me they didn't have a shot, buddy!"
-Robert Downey, Jr., acceptance speech for Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Motion Picture Comedy or Musical for his role in Sherlock Holmes.

I would like to make an account of something that happened to me while I was at Wendy's.
I was going to have the usual '#6, medium fries, Coca-Cola, yes fries, yes medium, no slushy, I already said fries, oh for goodness sake get some hearing aid, lady!', but the problem was that I (father) only had a $100 bill. I asked if they accepted one hundred dollar bills, and the lady just looks at me in the most annoyed look, as if I was Bernie Madoff, and in a very hesitant way said 'yes'. I gave it to her, and she impatiently began looking for change for six dollars and ninety nine cents. She had to look in two cash registers. I kinda felt bad for her not. But if annoyed cashier lady is reading this right now, I would like to point out that just because YOU probably didn't do good in math, which is probably the reason you are working at a Wendy's, does not mean that you should be mad if you are required to subtract 100-6.09 once in a blue moon!

Anyways, I mentioned earlier I am not going to be able to post tomorow. That is because I am going to watch Le Cossard Beau, or in more English terms, The Lovely Bones. Expect a review on Saturday, or Sunday, or soon.

-Wolfie

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I NEED YOUR HELP!

Once again, faithful follower, I must ask too much of you.

What has this blog become about? Movies, or in more film adequate words, film. Which is kind of wierd because I have always wanted to be a lawyer, and for the past six months I have aquired an obsesseion with film. I don't even watch television shows anymore, only if they are related to film. In the internet I research film. I blog about film. I am left puzzled because it is so easy for me to post about film rather than post about my boring life. I need your help.
I don't know what makes this blog funny or interesting or worth following. You tell me. I am thinking of making this blog completely film related. And I would have to keep it that way, because I have already reformed it once not one month ago. Should I do this? Or not? Please be honest and I really need you to comment on this one.
How did I become aware of this? Labels. Because really, most of my posts are now about movies. Which is odd, because the purpose of this blog is supposed to be about randomness. I really don't know what to do, nor am I more inclined to change the blog. This is only one of my thoughts, not a major 'health care reformal' type of thing.
If not, I am thinking of, come February, change my blog to an actual theme/purpose, because the whole broad genre thing is really annoying me here. Why? I always have a why. So I sit on my chair and stretch my arms, crack my knuckles, and click 'New Post'. And I think to myself: "What can I post about?" Everything. Because it has no specific genre, purpose, theme, whatever you want to call it. So, I need you to comment and tell me if I should change this blog to completely film related, or if not, to what specific purpose it should serve, or if I should just leave it. Because, really, I am clueless on what to do. And you, my faithful followers, are the entire purpose of this blog. I need to make a decision come February. Please comment.

-Wolfie

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Lovely Phones

Bonjour, faithful followers! I'm back, even though I posted like on Wednesday (wait let me check.... Yup Wednesday), and I am dying of boredom. Not really dying, but yes I could use something to do right now besides posting and watching/reading movie reviews. It is kind of creepy because I have become a movie freak, like when someone says 'Oh *insert actor here* is in that movie!', I'll say, 'You mean the guy who won an Oscar for *insert here* and *insert here*?' I just came back from a WAGS (Walking Around Garage Sales), and I am thoroughly exhausted, bored, and thirsty. I have had a recent crave of horror movies, because it is always interesting to see the different plots and characters that they have. Plus, horror movies are the kind that either fail or win, and nowhere in between. Mostly because I was looking around Rotten Tomatoes and I saw a bunch of reviews for Paranormal Activity, which made me go on YouTube for video reviews. I spent like all afternoon yesterday doing just that. So now I really want to see Paranormal Activity, although I don't, because I am scared that I will get too scared. But I am going to watch it anyways, because here is my to-do list of 2010:

  • Watch Paranormal Activity
And that is it for now because I can't think of anything else. My mind was wandering to the side of "plant a cactus" so I just stopped thinking and decided to leave the thinking for later.
I was looking through RT I saw the most curious title. "The Lovely Phones." I thought to myself wow. fail. But then I realized that it was all my dyslexic mind (I don't really have dyslexia, I just feel like I do sometimes).
 I am hoping to watch The Lovely Bones, because it seems to have an interesting story. Which is wierd because it was once "the book which every girl must read this year". The reviews have been mixed, and most of the positivity in the reviews was in the acting, which makes me not raise my expectations too much. Unless you have been living under a rock for the last few weeks, you have probably seen this trailer on TV.



-Wolfie

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The best things come in small packages. Or which ever size is cheaper.

It is all about the profit. I always say to look at the world realistically. Really. Like a perfume. No one really cares if you smell more to the rose side rather than the pomegranate side, or vice versa. Just grab the cheapest fine perfume and buy it already. I hate it when people take sayings wrongly. Because this saying doesn't mean that you should always buy the smaller things in a shelf. If you don't know what it means, then don't apply it in life, for you will probably end up making yourself look foolish.

For instance, when I first heard the word hostile, I thought it meant very nice, friendly, generous, and those types of words. Of course, I assumed this, when I could have played it smart and looked in a dictionary. But no, I was too lazy. Then when I came to visit a friend's house once, I couldn't stifle my polite personality and just had to tell Mrs.*insert friend's last name here* how good she treated her guests, and it was also the perfect opportunity to use a new word I learned. So, as you might have guessed, I told her she was very hostile. And to flatter her, I just had to emphasize the 'very'. And worst of all, I only found out the real meaning of the word several years later when it appeared in our vocabulary book at school.

Oh iTunes charts, you have, for the first time, failed me. Sad to admit, but as I recently checked the iTunes charts, I couldn't help but to gasp loudly, and then sigh sadly. I believe I have briefly expressed my agonizing reaction to dislike of Ke$ha music (in this post), but I have never directly addressed it. Now, I think, would be the appropriate time to do so. I can almost hear the clock ticking down her fifteen minutes of fame. Some of you might argue that Tik Tok is a very good song, but I disagree. I shall not go more in depth. After she released her debut album, Animal, which I also do not like too much, her song "Blah blah blah" became first in the charts, followed by Tik Tok. Ugh.

-Wolfie

Monday, January 11, 2010

AVATAR

So this week was a movie-tastic week. I watched three movies I hadn't seen. But I will only review one of them. Oh yes, you know its coming... REVIEW TIME.

Avatar
Directed by James Cameron
162 minutes
Rated PG-13

After this movie ended, everyone was silent from 1)shock, 2)exhaustion, 3)breathlessness, 4)inability to remember how to walk. Yes, this movie is two hours and forty two minutes long, but boy does it seem longer. If you are one of those who easily fall asleep in movies, then you are merely paying to sleep at the movie theater. But I am not saying that it was good. It was breathtaking. I saw it in 3-D, and the graphics were WOW, but I am sure even in 2-D it should be incredible. But I am not sure if this movie will be such an OMG in your television set... Any whom, the movie follows a former marine who tries to have a new life by coming to Pandora, a distant planet, to participate in the AVATAR project. AVATAR is basically the synchronization of the human neorological system and that of a Na'vi with mixed human DNA. In other words, his mind is put into that of a native of Pandora. The goal of the Pandora station is to attain a rare material that lays bellow the ground of Pandora, and sells for $20 million per kilo. The main stock of the material is located beneath a large tree in which the entire Na'vi colony resides. The purpose of project AVATAR is to gain the trust of the natives to move them from the tree and avoid mass death, and along the way gather information on the biology of Pandora. While participating in the project, the marine befriends the natives, "becomes one of them", and falls in love with one of their own. The plot itself is somewhat complicated, but is also the classic Pocahontas plot. Overall, the plot is a big cliché, but also very creative and human. A lot of stuff explodes, catches on fire, crashes, etc... The last half of the movie proves to be excessive, and when the last twenty minutes of the movie came, I wanted it to end. Yes, this movie will earn a lot of money, win any awards, but the cliché plot, excessive length, and tiresome special effects overwhelm at times. But all in all, it was way worth watching; once.
My score: 6/10

-Wolfie

Saturday, January 9, 2010

You just killed it.

Killed what, you ask? The entire franchise.

Join me as I count down the worst sequels of 2009. The bad thing about a bad sequel is that: Firstly, most of the time, if not based on literature, no one asked for it. Secondly, it ruins the entire series. Don't worry, though, I won't include New Moon, although I didn't particularly enjoy it, but it didn't quite reach the 'bad' level, nor did it ruin the Twilight movie series, nor did I 100% regret seeing it. Yes, critics panned it, but screw critics. What kind of person makes a living of looking for defects in movies?

What gave me this idea is that this year I have panned many movies, loved many, and many I had mixed feelings about. I do believe I have talked about HBP, New Moon, Sherlock Holmes, and several others, but I haven't actually made a list. I don't like criticizing movies either, don't get me wrong; it is just that 2009 had many awfully horrid terrible sequels.

5. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
The name, as I had said before, did not entice me to see the movie. But since I liked the first one, I decided I simply had to see it, because it is the kind of movie that is much better in the big screen than on your television set. It did have a lot of new and interesting looking characters. But I wasn't at all surprised when I realized the movie had sucked. Really, I wasn't. The plot had a creative initiative but failed to captivate. Night at the Museum is one of those movies that should have been kept untouched, unchanged, and un-continued. Like Grease. That movie was worth a long round of applause. The sequel was a fail. The same with Night at the Museum. The plot is too unique and specific. The sequel was overkill.

4. Angels and Demons
This sequel, which actually is a prequel, I actually had expectations for. The Da'Vinci Code was very good, though long. When I went to see Night at the Museum 2 for the first time, we actually ended up seeing Angels and Demons; and I would have much rather watched the other one. This is one of those bad movies that are long, which are the worst kind. The plot was completely un-followable, with far too many twists and a requirement of an Einstein type IQ; a problem that I thought was similar to that of The Dark Night. I had to watch it twice to somewhat understand it. And, unlike The Da'Vinci Code, it was VERY unrealistic. Right from the begginig, when we see a sort of nuclear factory and an eyeball on the floor, I knew this. If you haven't watched this one, don't.

3. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
I was not a big fan of X-Men; nor am I now. To tell the truth, I haven't watched the first one. I liked the second one after watching it on like ABC or something, and then I went to see the third one at the movie theater. Then I saw the trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I didn't know whether to have expectations for it or not. The movie was a mix of a bunch of clichés, explosions, and fights. It was about as long as Night at the Museum, but boy did it feel longer than that. The beginning was somewhat captivating, but then it went on into another overly-extravagant plot that only a hard core fan can follow. It was like the entire movie was supposed to be three, and that it was crammed all together into a complete overkill. At the same time it is very vague, dark, and lacks the charm of the original X-Men series.

2. The Pink Panther 2
This one I had zero expectations for. I was definitly not going to watch it in theaters, nor pay seven dollars at Blockbuster for it, so I waited until the pay-per-view price was down to three dollars and watched it. It didn't disappoint me, just because I didn't expect anything. Once again, Steve Martin wastes his valuable talent on a movie that was saved from rock bottom by his acting. I kind of enjoyed the first movie, but this one was just plain bad. The plot was... wait a second... plot? What am I saying? What plot? Again, the Pink Panther diamond is stolen, which makes the movie awfully unoriginal. What really saved the first movie from the bad level was Beyonce, but sadly, Britney Spears wasn't here to save this one. A lot of people trip, a lot of stuff gets broken, and a lot of words are mispronounced: but all it leads to is a reel of lame gags.

1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Oh yes, Michael Bay, I am REALLY going to add insult to injury to this one, because not only was it a disgrace to the first movie, but it made me spend twelve dollars when I could have just started banging a bunch of cooking pans together and have gotten the same outcome for free. It was the perfect recipe for disaster: bad, complicated, long, and noisy. And I REALLY had high expectations for this one after its prequel. After twenty minutes I just wanted it to end. The plot here really was un-followable, and half of it was explosions.  Yes, the special effects were good, but you need more than that to make a good movie, Michael Bay. The worst thing about it was the never-ending noise; it was torture. Megan Fox acted horridly badly, and in every scene had perfect make up and high heels on. And forgive me, but I have to pan the plot again. It was very, very, very complicated. The movie was very, very, very long. The special effects were very, very, very obnoxious. The noise was very, very, very excruciating. The outcome was very, very, very bad.

Needless to say I won't be watching Transformers 3 in 2011.

-Wolfie

Friday, January 8, 2010

"Marilyn Monroe looks pretty." "Eh thats Meryl Streep." "I don't care."

^Yes you do!^

I hate it when people do that. Of course you care!!!

OMG its Speech Friday! Let's see.... I know!
"Farewell, Aragog, king of arachnids, whose long and faithful friendship those who knew won't forget! Though your body will decay, your spirit lingers on in the quiet, web-spun places of your forest home. May your many-eyed descendants ever flourish and your human friends find solace for the loss they have sustained."
-Horace Slughorn, perhaps, the only person( though fictional) who can make flowers out of garbage (figuratively).

And I do need to give a big  hello to my faithful followers whom I know to be reading this, because I haven't posted since Monday. I apologize, but I did have more time to post during Winter Break. Yes, I am back at the academy, sadly, and have returned in engaging in the act of, as they call it these days, learning. And Winter Break was not as wintery as The-Gloomy-Days-Following-Winter-Break, which have so far been ridiculously cold. One good thing out of it is that the academy has allowed us to wear jeans during these freezing days. 

OH NO!!! Transformers is having another sequel. This one which nobody asked for. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life. No kidding. I left the movie theater with two nearly deaf ears and one heck of a headache. But it has to be the best non-book based sequel name ever. I will give examples.
1) You may be unaware that a Cats and Dogs sequel is coming out. Why why why so many un-asked-for sequels! But the worst part is the name. Cats and Dogs: the Revenge of Kitty Galore. Oh yes, this is no joke. It is coming out this July. And I have no interest in seeing it.
 2) Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde. I have no comment on that one. Oh who am I kidding I have a comment. That sounds like some cheesy pick-up line, like "My favorite color is blonde."
3) 2 Fast 2 Furious. I just have a big sad WOW for that one.
4) Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. By the time you tell the ticket clerk that, he will already be off his shift.

I have a dream, where sequels merely have a number after the original title, where there won't be puns relating hair colors and actual colors, where ridiculous word puns won't take place, and where titles will be short enough and not have words that half of the population can't pronounce.

-Wolfie

Monday, January 4, 2010

Lets sit in the cold and get frostbite.

^lets not and say we did^


Oh boy... I think I am feeling winter now.

Well I have been walking around in school today with SHORTS on. At least I have a comfy jacket... But still. My lip has begun to bled like five times today, and either my chapstick is not B positive friendly, or one if it's ingridients is chilly pepper, because it does not feel like any healing or pain-killing is taking place.

Yay. Half of my afternoon spent on the case of a false alarm 'failed scoliosis test' (yup. even the doctor laughed at the way the school phrased that) That is the last time I let someone measure my back's angle who's resume I haven't seen. I could have been blogging doing homework, but no! Why do productive stuff while we could spend one and a half hours sitting in the little red waiting room! All I had to read were health care panflets and retirement home brochures...

Oh dear. I forgot it. Again. But maybe, in the midst of the large crowd, nobody would notice. It was going very well so far, for you would have thought that at school they would surely figure it out. I mean not wearing an ID is usually like giving Lindsay Lohan a crate of Budweiser at her birthday party, like bringing a Happy Meal to Burger King, like wearing an AIG shirt to a taxpayer's convention. It's just not right. You can't get away with it. So as I stood in the freezing courtyard, I only prayed that no one would notice. Then, I saw a girl of one of the higher grade levels begin to walk up to me. Oh no.
"Er, kid, your backpack is open."
If only I had noticed that I was leaving a trail of fallen books behind me...
-Wolfie